Diamonds in the Rough: The Untold Story of a Prodigal Daughter

Searching for Identity: A Lifetime of Self-Discovery 

Who am I? I have spent considerable time trying to unpack this question. This reflection has been especially intense in the past few months. At this moment, the trajectory of my life and my past decisions are colliding with some unknown future. I suppose my mother was right; the question of "who we are" takes a lifetime to answer. As for who I am, I consider myself a prodigal by definition. As a young person, I strayed away from family and made decisions that, unbeknownst to me, would change the course of my life. When referring to children that stray, the term prodigal can often have a negative connotation, and perhaps rightfully so. But as some of you have learned from reading my column, my stories are never quite straightforward; similar to my life, I seem to prefer the scenic route

The Road Less Traveled: A Journey from High School Dropout to PhD

Most of us may be familiar with the stories of prodigals. Those sons and daughters who have left home to live a life of their own decision and return changed forever. My tale follows a similar suit but is quite unusual in its own right. It begins with a young high school dropout who left home early and continues with an academic journey resulting in a PhD. I know that my story is not the norm; in fact, it may be the first of which you have read from someone with my background. But it is mine nonetheless, and I am proud of it because it has shaped me into who I am. With the culmination of my recent achievements, I find myself in nearly constant reflection on my past life. These deliberations are not ones of regret or uncertainty but of curiosity. Who are we? Are we merely a culmination of our accomplishments, the people we care for, the community we represent, the interests we pursue, the mistakes we make/make, or the work we do? What happens when we wear multiple hats, whether we are parents, spouses, scholars, or business owners? And who determines the order of our priorities? Are we destined to struggle with finding a definition that accurately captures our unique experiences? My recent examinations have led me to grapple with these questions.

Between Ambition and Belonging: Redefining Womanhood and Success

My short answer would highlight how we are all a combination of interests, relationships, and experiences, some of which are critical to shaping us into who we are at present, which can sometimes change over time as we reorient our lives. As for me, I am the mother of a young family, a wife, a doctor, and an adamant overachiever. From childhood, my mother taught me never to take no for an answer and always to believe in myself because my potential was endless. Even though I became a mother myself at a very young age, I still had big dreams and (with the support of my mother) still believed in myself wholeheartedly. Even with a growing family, I evolved to dream bigger and became very good at conflating high achievement with setting unreasonable expectations for myself. Some of us live in a career-driven world where our accomplishments and advancement in the workplace can define most of our lives. While others of us are characterized by our families, and the days can seem much longer than the 24 hours we are all allotted. But many of us live at the intersection of these two worlds. A place where our passions drive us, but from a place where we also aim to be present in the lives of our loved ones. This experience has largely depicted my own journey. As children came, a husband, an academic journey, more children, and a military life with cross-country and international moves, I learned that even when you are inclined to follow your passions, people will readily join you in reinforcing unreasonable expectations. This point begs to reiterate the initial question: Who are you? 

Grace for the Journey: The Emotional Work Behind Growth

You are someone who can break any cycle by giving yourself the space to experience the full spectrum of emotions. You are someone who is capable of giving yourself the grace you so freely give to others. And you are someone who continues to learn the important lessons of life, even if you don't know how to apply them just yet. As my mother or any older woman from the South would say, "Just keep living!"

In many ways, this has been a prodigal daughter story, one marked not by shame, but by grace, growth, and an unrelenting pursuit of purpose.

Redefining Success After the PhD: Embracing the Unknown

I wish this were a more straightforward answer to a simpler question, but unfortunately, it is one that I am still grappling with. Additionally, the recent completion of my doctorate has also spurred another interesting development; everyone, friends, family, peers, and colleagues, are all curious about what is next for me. And the very first time I answered, a mere day after my dissertation defense, I replied for the first time in my life, "I don't know yet." I am used to dealing with some uncertainty in my life, but I was even shocked. As military-connected people, we all eventually become accustomed to the random, slow-moving processes that define our experiences. However, I always imagined my life differently once I accomplished "The goal." Even as a young person, I was goal-oriented. Reaching milestones and achievements marked a checkbox off of my checklist and, of course, provided some individualistic validation as I raised my young family. As the children grew, so did my achievements. Now that I have reached the close of one chapter, I have reflected on the value of the journey I have experienced thus far and accepted that having a plan is not equated to living a happy life. I learned that this is only the beginning. I am just getting started, and that excitement has granted me a sort of permission to pause and breathe before taking my next step. I am proud of where my journey has brought me. Ultimately, it gave me the courage to know that whatever comes next, I am especially well prepared for. 

The Prodigal Daughter Story: Forgiveness, Growth, and Coming Home to Self

In the biblical story, the prodigal son returns and is welcomed by his father with open arms. Like this story, forgiveness and acceptance are key themes in many of our lives; they only differ in how we experience them. In my prodigal story, forgiveness is the grace I strive to give myself. It is the permission I sought, not from others but from myself—a thorough acknowledgment of my sacrifices and accomplishments that warrants celebration. The tale of a prodigal daughter continues a journey honoring the hard lessons of life.