Gifts That Can’t Be Wrapped: The Heart of Kindness During the Holiday Season

By Tyrese Cook

As the holiday season approaches, there’s a growing anticipation in the air: the smell of freshly baked cookies, the sound of holiday music echoing through shops, and the glow of twinkling lights. For many, it’s a magical time filled with joy, family gatherings, and celebrations. But behind the smiles and holiday cheer, countless people are carrying heavy burdens—grief, loneliness, financial hardship, mental health struggles, or the emptiness of missing loved ones. During a time when it seems like the world is glowing with happiness, it’s important to remember that not everyone shares the same experiences or circumstances. 

Understanding the Real Struggles People Face 

We all know that life doesn’t always feel like a holiday movie. In real life, there are ups and downs we all face. During the holiday season, when there’s so much focus on joy and togetherness, it can amplify the pain for those who are struggling. It might be the first holiday someone is spending alone in Korea, or perhaps they are navigating the loss of a loved one. For some, it’s the financial strain of not being able to “keep up” with the expectations of gift-giving. And for many, especially those in the military community, it might mean being stationed far from home, missing family traditions, and feeling the ache of distance. 

My family has experienced firsthand how the holiday season can be particularly challenging for soldiers and families living overseas. Reflecting, I remember our first duty station in Germany as newlyweds, during my husband’s first year as a soldier. It was also our twin daughters’ second holiday season, and navigating the distance from loved ones was no small feat. Here in Korea, I’ve witnessed soldiers and families preparing to face similar challenges. People within our community are constantly learning to adapt and find comfort within the bonds of our military family.  

The Power of Compassionate Presence 

You never know what someone else is going through, and sometimes, a simple act of kindness can make all the difference. In my experience as a therapist, I’ve learned that compassion isn’t just about grand gestures; it’s often found in the small, quiet moments where we show up for each other. Offering a listening ear or taking a moment to check in with someone can let them know they’re not alone in their struggles. 

I still cherish the memories of my family’s first holiday season away from home. I remember sharing warm cups of coffee with close friends, our laughter echoing as we reminisced about childhood holiday stories. Our children played games together, their giggles filling the air, while we frequently Facetimed back home to feel close to our loved ones. We hosted Thanksgiving for a few unaccompanied soldiers, transforming our living room into a makeshift gathering place filled with a shared meal and heartfelt conversation. In those moments we leaned into each other’s company knowing that although these connections couldn't erase the feelings of isolation, they beautifully reminded us of the strength we find in togetherness. I look forward to rekindling that same bond this year on our first holiday season here in Korea. The kindness we shared was a true gift - one that made the holidays feel less like a distant memory and more like home. 

Why Kindness During the Holidays Hits Differently 

Kindness is powerful year-round, but during the holidays, it takes on a different kind of magic. While most people are rushing to finish their shopping lists, decorate their homes, or perfect their holiday plans, a genuine act of kindness can break through that noise and speak to the heart. It’s easy to get swept up in the demands of the season, but being intentional in offering kindness means we’re not just going through the motions but truly seeing and honoring the people around us. 

Showing compassion doesn’t have to cost a thing. A warm smile to a stranger, a genuine “How are you doing?” or a few extra minutes spent with someone who looks like they need it can be just what that person needs to keep going. There’s something grounding about knowing that, in the midst of all the holiday “hustle and bustle,” someone cared enough to reach out and make sure they’re okay.

Ideas for Spreading Compassion and Kindness During the Holiday Season

If you’re looking for ways to spread a little extra kindness this holiday season, here are a few simple yet meaningful ideas: 

Send a Handwritten Note or Message: In a digital world, a handwritten note or a heartfelt message can feel incredibly personal. Take a moment to send a card or text to someone who may need it, reminding them they’re valued. Find your local USO for a huge variety of free, handmade cards for all occasions. Some are even blank, allowing you to truly personalize the note or message. 

Donate or Volunteer Locally: Whether it’s a local food pantry, a toy drive, or the thrift store, there are countless ways to give back to those in need. Volunteering as a family can be a beautiful way to teach kids about gratitude and giving. 

Be Present for Someone Going Through Hardship: Sometimes, people just need someone who will sit with them in their pain without trying to fix it. Just being there, listening, and validating their feelings can be a powerful form of compassion. 

Practice Patience in Busy Spaces: Holiday lines, traffic, and crowded stores can test anyone’s patience. Try to approach these situations with kindness, remembering that everyone has their struggles and stressors. 

Reach Out to Those Who Might Be Lonely: The holidays can be an incredibly isolating time for some. A simple phone call, FaceTime, or invitation to share a meal, especially for unaccompanied soldiers can lift someone’s spirits immensely. 

Understand Your Community Resources: Military installations offer a vast array of resources, including chaplains, who provide spiritual support; military family life counselors (MFLCs), who offer free, confidential counseling sessions; and behavioral health teams who are there for more in-depth mental health care. Taking a few minutes to understand these resources for yourself and others could be a game-changer, a lifeline for a friend, neighbor, or family struggling during this season.

Why It Matters to Me—and Hopefully to You, Too 

As a mother, therapist, and military spouse, I feel an incredible responsibility to show my children that kindness is the core of who we are, especially during the holidays. Our acts of compassion don’t just serve those in need; they also nurture empathy within ourselves. For my family, these gestures are how we choose to celebrate this season—not just with gifts, but with meaningful actions that remind us what it truly means to be part of a community. 

There’s a quote I love: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”- Ian Maclaren. The holiday season often adds layers of difficulty to these battles, as people may feel pressure to meet unrealistic expectations or are reminded of losses they still grieve. Each small act of kindness is like a candle; it can shine a light in someone’s life in a way that matters far beyond the moment itself. 

Closing Thoughts 

The holiday season gives us a unique opportunity to slow down and take stock of what’s important. Yes, gifts and celebrations are wonderful, but there is something deeply fulfilling about choosing to be a source of kindness for others. It’s a reminder that the spirit of the holidays isn’t in the things we buy but, in the love, and support we extend to one another. 

When we treat others with compassion, it reflects the essence of the season. And who knows? The kindness you share might inspire others to do the same, creating a ripple effect of warmth that spreads beyond what we could ever imagine. 

So, as we dive into the festivities, let’s remember the true gifts we can offer one another: a compassionate heart, a listening ear, and a helping hand. Let’s fill this season not just with material gifts but with genuine moments of care and connection, lifting up those who need it most. Because in the end, that’s what makes this time of year truly special. 

In the spirit of compassion and love, let’s make this holiday season one where kindness is at the heart of everything we do.

*The information provided in this article is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended to replace professional mental health treatment or to serve as a diagnosis or treatment for any health condition. This article does not establish a client/therapist relationship between the author and the reader. Readers should consult their own licensed medical or mental health providers for personalized advice and treatment for any concerns related to their health or well-being. Always seek the guidance of your qualified professionals regarding any specific questions or concerns you may have regarding your health.